Below are the 19 most recent journal entries recorded in broken laws, broken bones, broken hearts, throwing's LiveJournal:

Saturday, March 27th, 2004
12:35 pm	FUCKIN DO SOMETHING WITH ME SUNDAY i need a caravan and a posse to go to what is formerly known as the starlight ball room tomorrow to see mr. spike emmerson play tomorrow. this is the battle of the bands so you are being counted on!! write me or call me for more information 12.00 door club lido revere 18+ 9787440380 cheshiretcatt@yahoo.com my aim is kamakazekeri (Comment on this)
Wednesday, March 24th, 2004
10:31 pm	this skin you can keep my old skin that you are stealing i dont like it anymore. you can take everything and everyone that came with it you dont have to sneak around. i would give it to me willingly now that i know the consequence. i like the things that come with the new skin much better and i have grown out of the things i gave to you. in addition. a dude that looks like puck said some very nice things to me today. the uberhot was in and i made him smile then he made me smile i hung out with danny and my mom apparently i am going on my first vacation in five years soon! (Comment on this)
Tuesday, March 23rd, 2004
10:02 pm	surveys and shoppin shopped today got tons of cute clothes and some ugly ones but i gave them away.. fuck salvation army wouldnt let me try things on.. anyways. got to see the uberhot today. god i love him.. how totally superficial that i dont know the first thing about him. later yall.. (_) I'VE NEVER DONE SURVEYS ONLINE Body: TO PLAY I NEVER. PUT AN (x) IN FRONT OF THE THINGS THAT YOU HAVE NEVER DONE BEFORE AND A (_) ON THE THINGS THAT YOU HAVE DONE AT LEAST ONCE. ADD A "I NEVER" OF YOUR OWN I NEVER (_) I NEVER HAVE BEEN DRUNK (_) I NEVER HAVE SMOKED POT (_) I NEVER HAVE KISSED A MEMBER OF THE OPPOSITE SEX (_) I NEVER HAVE KISSED A MEMBER OF THE SAME SEX (x) I NEVER CRASHED A FRIEND'S CAR (_) I NEVER BEEN TO JAPAN (_) I NEVER RODE IN A TAXI (_) I NEVER GAVE ANAL SEX (gave or had?) (_) I NEVER HAVE BEEN IN LOVE (_) I NEVER HAD SEX (_) I NEVER HAVE HAD SEX IN PUBLIC (_) I NEVER HAVE BEEN DUMPED (_) I NEVER SHOPLIFTED (_) I NEVER HAVE BEEN FIRED (_) I NEVER BEEN IN A FIST FIGHT (_) I NEVER HAD A THREESOME (_) I NEVER BEEN SNUCK OUT OF MY PARENT'S HOUSE (_) I NEVER BEEN TIED UP (SEXUALLY) (_) I NEVER BEEN CAUGHT MASTURBATING (_) I NEVER PISSED ON MYSELF (_) I NEVER HAD SEX WITH A MEMBER OF THE SAME SEX (_) I NEVER BEEN ARRESTED (_) I NEVER MADE OUT WITH A STRANGER (_) I NEVER STOLE SOMETHING FROM MY JOB (x) I NEVER CELEBRATED NEW YEARS IN TIME SQUARE (X) I NEVER WENT ON A BLIND DATE (X) I NEVER LIED TO A FRIEND (_) I NEVER HAD A CRUSH ON A TEACHER (_) I NEVER CELEBRATED MARDI-GRAS IN NEW ORLEANS (_) I NEVER BEEN TO EUROPE (_) I NEVER SKIPPED SCHOOL (_) I NEVER SLEPT WITH A CO-WORKER (_) I NEVER CUT MYSELF ON PURPOSE (X) I NEVER HAD SEX AT THE OFFICE (x) I'VE NEVER BEEN MARRIED (X) I'VE NEVER BEEN DIVORCED (_) I NEVER HAD SEX WITH MORE THAN ONE PERSON WITHIN THE SAME WEEK (_) I NEVER HAVE POSED NUDE (_) I NEVER GOT SOMEONE DRUNK JUST TO HAVE SEX WITH THEM (_) I NEVER WALK IN ON PEOPLE HAVING SEX (X) I NEVER TRIED BEASTIALITY (_) I'VE NEVER HAD SOMEONE CUM IN MY MOUTH (_) I'VE NEVER USED A DILDO (_) I'VE NEVER DISOWNED ANY OF MY FRIENDS (_) I NEVER BEEN TO MEXICO (_) I NEVER HAVE BEEN IN A CAR ACCIDENT (x) I NEVER BEEN TO IRELAND (_) I NEVER GOT OUT OF MY PARENTS HOUSE (_) I NEVER WOKE UP AND REGRETTED THE PAST NIGHTS EVENTS (_) I NEVER SAID I LOVED SOMEONE JUST TO FUCK THEM (X) I NEVER HAD SEX AT KINGS ISLAND (_) I HAVE NEVER CHEATED ON SOMEONE I WAS WITH (_) I HAVE NEVER BEEN KICKED OUT OF A HOTEL (X) I HAVE NEVER PARTICIPATED IN A ORGY (_) I'VE NEVER HAD SEX WITH A FRIEND (_) I'VE NEVER SUCKED A DICK (_)I'VE NEVER DATED SOMEONE I MET ON THE INTERNET (x) I'VE NEVER FALLEN IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE I MET ON THE INTERNET( I had a child with her :( bad idea) (_) I'VE NEVER DROPPED ACID (X) I'VE NEVER TOSSED SOMEONES SALAD (_) I'VE NEVER BEEN TO DISNEYLAND (X) I'VE NEVER HAD SEX FOR MONEY (_) I'VE NEVER GIVEN A MEMBER OF THE OPPOSITE SEX AN ORGASM (_) I'VE NEVER WANTED TO KILL SOMEONE (X) I'VE NEVER KILLED ANOTHER HUMAN BEING (x) I'VE NEVER KILLED AN ANIMAL (x) I'VE NEVER BEEN TO HAWAII (x) I'VE NEVER SHOT UP HEROIN (_) I'VE NEVER EXPOSED MYSELF ON CAM (x) I'VE NEVER TAPED MYSELF HAVING SEX (_) I'VE NEVER HAD SEX IN A CEMETARY (____) I'VE NEVER HAD SEX WITH MY SIGNIFICAN OTHER'S SIBLING (X) I'VE NEVER BEEN TO ARROWHEAD STADIUM (_) I'VE NEVER SEEN TITANIC (Comment on this)
Monday, March 22nd, 2004
7:05 pm	i did every survey i saw today and turned them into one giant ubersurvey that will grow to take over the world. and then i hated my self for having wasted two hours of my time doing this. surveys Name four bad habits you have: * internet * drinking * sexin * lack of integrity Name four things that you wish you had: * tonsa money * new clothes * gastric bypass * enough of the states trust so they would just GIVE me my licence back Name your four biggest character flaws: * im a jerk a lot * hurtful occaisionally * ditch people by accident * dicth people on purpose Name four scents you love: * coffee * beer * ciggerette when im not smoking one * cumin when dans cooking cos i get to cry about the smell of armpit Name four scents you hate: * dirty womens room * dirty mens room * the onion and his stinky ass * garbage in the summer in the point BUCKALOW Name four things you are wearing: * military pants * tank top * pig tail holders * ranch dressing on my finger Name four things you'd never wear: * enough to make me not look like a whore * a shirt that will show pit stains * clothes that arent falling apart * my heart on my sleve again Name four things you have done today: * flirted with my ex for all the wrong reasons * agreed to be supportive and unselfish for someone who needed me * fed my cat bitey * ignored someone who takes me for granted Name four of your favorite things to do: * sing * drink * play dress up * talk way too much Name the last four things you have bought: * cheesy dip * hamburger helper * can of peas * can of mushrooms Name four favorite colors: * red * blue * black * pink Name four least favorite colors: * * * * i have no least favorite color Name four things you regularly drink: * water * beer * coffee * gingerale THREE THINGS THAT SCARE ME -maggots -roaches -my lifestyle THREE THINGS I'D LIKE TO LEARN -to play video games online -to be a better human being -good cleaning habits THREE THINGS ON MY DESK -tee vee -spagetti sauce jar -computer THREE THINGS I WANT TO DO BEFORE I DIE -have kids -get famous -have a good life and help my family and friends out THREE WAYS TO DESCRIBE MY PERSONALITY -anxious -crude -where class meets trash THREE BAD THINGS ABOUT MY PERSONALITY -mean -Narcisistic -easily hurt THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE -korean -irish -german THREE THINGS I LIKE ABOUT MY BODY -VERY NICE BOOBS -my tatoos i did -my head is mostley attractive THREE THINGS I DON'T LIKE ABOUT MY BODY -pretty chubby -back aches -BAD feet= will be in a wheel chair by fourty THREE THINGS MOST PEOPLE DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU -i hate the way i act -i will never admit it even if i know i am wrong -i fall in love 1000 times a day and every one of them takes a piece of my soul with them THREE THINGS I SAY THE MOST -what?! -oh yeah! -everyone out of my house ditty mow! THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO -italy -islands -paris THREE NAMES THAT YOU GO BY -keri -killam - keri berry THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE OR HAD -cheshiretcatt -salemwhorecore -toiletmouth Last Cigarette:: on the way to steves Last Alcoholic Drink:: saturday.. so its been a while Last Car Ride:: laura took me to mcdonalds on saturday Last Kiss:: nick in my room Last Good Cry::valentines day Last Library Book checked out:: a bunch of jonathan carrol books Last Movie Seen in Theatres:: passion of th e christ Last Book Read:: simply sinful Last Movie Rented: i dont rent movies Last Cuss Word Uttered: what the fuck! Last Beverage Drank:: water Last Food Consumed::spagetti sandwich and chicken nuggets Last Crush:: uberhot Last Phone Call:: Gerrard Last TV Show Watched:: classmates Last Time Showered:: last nite Last Shoes Worn:: pay less specials that i bought the night i went to see passion Last CD Played:: umm.. spike emerson on saturday so everyone who couldnt get in could hear what they missed Last Item Bought:: cheesy dip Last Download:: the weakerthans Last Disappointment:: its always the same one so im just going to stop setting myself up for that one Last Soda Drank:: gingerale that i mixed with grape juice Last Thing Written::the last thing i drank Last Key Used::key to the store this morning Last Sleep:: till 6:30 this morning Last IM:: dylan Last Sexual Fantasy::last night masturbating Last Ice Cream Eaten:: coconutchocolate hershey ice cream bars 25cents Last Time Amused:: last nite laying down with my little bro and sis Last Time Wanting To Die:: day after st pattys Last Time In Love:: he knows who he is Last Time Scolded:: mike about tardieness Last Chair Sat In:: computer chair Last Lipstick Used:: bright red lipstick i have been smudging around my face since my head got all heavy a minute ago Last Underwear Worn:: black Last Bra Worn:: black bra with pink lace.. i mean anyone can see that Last Shirt Worn:: black tank top i am wearing right now and wore for almost the entirety of last summer Last Webpage Visited:: myspace [your full name] keri may killam [your birthday] may 30 1979 [your favorite color] blue [your height] 5'5 [your weight] you dont get that info [your eye color] brown hazle [your hair color] black blonde and purple [your favorite book]from the teeth of angels [your favorite drink of all time] alchahol [favorite food]lobster [5 favorite songs] um.. no. [Pillow Cover]:two satin one cotton all broken [Shoes]:whatever doesnt hurt my feet too bad [Perfume/Cologne]: vanilla [CD in stereo right now]a sex mix i made [Hair]:pig tails [What you are wearing now]: fatuiges and tank top [In my mouth]: my tounge [In my head]: why this zit wont pop [Wishing]: this zit would pop [After this]:im gonna never put somewhere between five to six surveys together again thats for damn sure [Talking to]noone [Something you're looking forward to do in the upcoming months]: vacation with my family [The last thing you ate?]: spagetti sandwich [Favorite movie]: my favorite movie ive seen lately is very bad things.. but i have too many favorite movies [Something that you are deathly afraid of]: CockRoaches [Do you like incense]: yep [Do you believe in love]:only as a predisessor to heartache. or friends and family wich is different and very real [Do you believe in love at first sight]: yes [Do you believe in forgiveness]: aparrently too much just never EVER forget [If you could have any animal for a pet]:bity or any of my pets of the past. or champ boris leroy and all the others. i tip a fourty for them. [What are some of your favorite pig out foods?]: anything. but i would dance topless for cheese cake or oreos right this very second. [What's something you wish you could understand better?]:he knows who he is In the last 24 hours, have you.. [Cried] no [Bought something] yep [Gotten sick] nope [Sang] better question would be have i stopped [Eaten] everytihing i think im going to start bleeding soon [Felt stupid] yep almost every transaction i make [Wanted to tell someone you loved them, but didn't] no. not today [Met someone new] i wish [Talked to an ex] haha yes. for the first time in a long time and two boys i sleep with. [Missed an ex] kinda. its weird. paul sure picked a weird time to visit me. [Talked to someone you have a crush on] no. he didnt come into the store today :( [Had a serious talk] im waiting to have one right now if this stupid bitch shows up [Missed someone]missed the way things used to be with everyone i see everyday [Hugged someone] yep the cute guy from the ymca when he reolised i saved him some tobacco cos i knew we were going to run out [Dreamed about someone you can't be with] yes. What is your full name? keri may killam 1.Nicknames?killem. kamakaze keri berry keri kitten 2.B-day: 5-30-79 3. Age: 24 4. Gender: female 5. Social Security: why would you ask me that, are you some kind of asshole? 6. Where do you live? salem, ma 7.What school do you attend? too much a fool for ged school 8. Siblings and their ages? amber23 alex14 malyssa13 pola15 christina28 edward25 10. Zodiac Sign: gemini 11. Righty or Lefty: righty *********YOUR LOOKS********* 12. Hair color: black blue and blonde 13. Eye Color: brown orangey hazel 14. Height: 5’5 15. Do u wear contacts or glasses? for i have convinced my self i need them. 16.Do you have any peircings? only holes where peircings have been 17. Where do you want more?i just want the monroe back 18. Do you have a tattoo? or nine 19. If so what and where? birds cupids joey ramone a heart a wagon wheel a nautical star a note to my family and a sad face 20. Do you wear any rings? ususlly for a while then i lose it 21. Do you have a certain fashion you follow? whatever i pull off my floor and lots of cleavage 23. How are you today? good thinking about sleeping 24. What pants/skirt are you wearing right now? millitary fatuiges 25. What shirt are you wearing right now? tank top. 27. What does your hair look like at the moment?sloppy pigtails like the nerdy chippete exept purple black and blonde 28. What song are u listening to right now? a jim sokalov commercial 29. What was the last thing u ate? spagetti i really dont see what this has to do with my looks 30. How is the weather right now?cold first day of spring 31. Last person you talked to on the phone. JIM GUANCI KERI JIM GUANCI 32. Last Dream you can remember: doing it.with the uberhot 33. Who are you talking to right now?you.. my public. 34. What time is it? 6:16 pm ************More about YOU!***************** 35. What are the last four digits of your phone number? 0380 36. If u were a crayon, what color would u want to be? teal 37. Have you ever almost died? too many times 38. Do u like the person that sent u this? if i didnt they wouldnt be on my myspace 39. How do u eat an Oreo? have none but god would i like to. ive been craving them for two days now. 40. What makes you happy? writing music singing drawing journiling drinking fucking and whatnot and my friends theyre kinda cool too 41. What's the next CD you are going to buy? i got a whole pile of cd's to buy, i can't think of what they are. 42. What religion/denomination are you? pagan and my own mix of spiritual 43. What's the best advice ever given to you? dont expect too much and you wont be let down 44. Have u ever won any special awards? things from school 45. What are your future goals?fame 46. Do u like to dance? yes. 48. What's the stupidest thing u ever done? started drinking 49. What's your favorite memory? hanging out downtown 50. If u could change 1 thing bout yourself what would it be?lots. 51. Where do you shop the most? tellos salvation army and thrift stores 52. How many kids do you want to have? lost just to name them i make up names all the time 53. Son's names? ira will killam 54. Daughter's names?seamonster 55. Do you do drugs? yeah 56. Do you drink? like a fish 57. What kind of shampoo and conditioner do you use? the kind you get in bleach and tressume 58. What sport do you hate the most? um, i dont hate any sports 59. What are you most scared of? my grumpiness 60. How many TV's do you have in your house?4 and some broken ones. and one that we just use as a vcr 61. Do you have your own TV? yes 62. phone line? nope i share 63. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? no i sleep in a pile of clothes and people on my bed the stuffed animals cant fit 64. Have you ever broken/sprained/fractered a bone?yes a few 65. Who do you dream about? ocean and sex 66. Who do you tell your dreams to? whoevers willing to listen and the i forget them 67. Who's the loudest friend you have? um.. lets see.. thats a fucking tossup. 68. Who's the quietest friend?paul wyneburg 69. Is cheerleading a sport?um.. god. what a stupid question. is the writer of this quiz a cheerleader who needs to validate themselfs? 70. How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll pop? you know i read this question and i didnt like it. 71. Which came first, the chicken or the egg? your mom. ********YOU and LOVE********* 72. Do you believe in Love? Yes. 73. Do you have a girlfriend or boyfriend? no 74. Do you have a crush?yes 75. Who is your crush?the uberhot 76. Did you send this to your crush? no 77. Do you believe in Love at first sight?yes 78. Where would you like to go on your honeymoon?far away 79. What song do you want played at your wedding? tonight i celebrate my love for you. 80. What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex? depends 81. Longest crush? YOU IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT TO HEAR? ARE YOU FUCKING HAPPY NOW? 82. Who do u want to spend the rest of your life with? my butt.. at least. give me my butt. 83. Do you find yourself attractive? im cute as hell 84. Do you find yourself ugly? no. only when im mad or sad 85. Do others find you attractive? they have sex with me.. ****ON GUYS FOR GIRLS TO FILL OUT (for girls only)**** 91. Curly or straight hair: however i make it 95. Hat or no hat: hat sometimes 96. Ears pierced or not:pierced no earrings 97 tan or no tan: pale. 98. Totaly shy, or outgoing: loud 99. Stubble or neatly shaven: shaved for the first time in a while yesterday 102. Accent or no accent? killah boston accent 103. Glasses?when i feel blind 104. Smart or dumb: both. only someone stupid claims to be truly smart. 105. What sport should he play? baseball 106. dependent(whipped) or independent: im aloooooooooooneee *****Pick One: THIS OR THAT*********** 134. sun or rain? warm rain. cool sun 135. Mickey D's or BK? micky d 136. Do u like scary or happy movies better?happy 137. Backstreet Boys or NSYNC? death 138. On the phone or in person? In person. 139. Paper or plastic? paper. 140. Sausage or pepperoni? sausage. 141. Summer or winter? summer 142. Hugs or Kisses? kisses 143. Chocolate or white milk: white 144. Root Beer or Dr. Pepper: dr. pepper 145. Glass half full or half empty?full 146. CD or Tape: tape 147. VHS or DVD: vhs 150. Vanilla or Chocolate: chocolate 151. Skiing or Boarding: i never move but i guess i can ski like a mutherufcker if i decide to 152. Day or night: night 153. Cake or pie:cake 156. sunset or sunrise: set ****************YOUR FAVS******************* 157. Color: black 158. food: meat. 159. Fast Food: happy meal 160. Candy: everything 161. Beverage: beer 162. Ice Cream Flavor: blackberry 163. Sport:baseball and swimming 164. Animal: bitey and any animal i have ever had. boris and champ and leroy may he rest in peace/ 164. Fave type of music? anything that makes me feel 165. Radio Station: oldies 103 166. Song: dont ask me that 167. group: again with the questions that should never be asked. 168. number: 24 or 13 i cant decide 169. Fav. Actor or Actress? keefer southerland 170. Fav. day of the year? halloween 171. Fav. month? may now.. may used to be cursed. however.. lately its been kinda cool. and you always like things better after thyre done sucking. 172. TV show? invader zim cos i cant get it lately 173. Store:redlion smoke shop HAHAHA IM A FUCKING LIAR. 174. Scent: boy. 175. Game: rummy 177. Opposite Sex Feature: attitude. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~HAVE YOU EVER~~~~~~~ 178. Loved someone so much it made you cry? Yes.and i still do. 180. Drank? Yes. 181. Ever gotten dumped? Yes. 182. Broke the law? Yes. 183. Ran from the cops? yes 185. Stole something? yes 186. Tried to kill yourself? yeah but i was a faggot like all the other faggots who try and kill themselfs. 187. Made yourself throw up? Yes. 189. Made yourself cry to get out of trouble? yes ************* A FiNaL NoTe******************* 190. Do you like filling these out:not this one. cos i was a moron to put them all together. 191. How many people are you sending this to?anyone on my bulliton or live journal lists 192. Do u want your friends to write back? sure....< 193. who is least likely to respond? you probably 194. Who is most likely to respond? yer mom 196. Any other comments: i was stupid to do this. im very sorry. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, March 10th, 2004
10:08 pm	hopefully this one works so today sucked,.. eggs.. i woke up late after a nite of sobriety and went to work.. before i could take my anxiety meds my boss screamed at me in the middle of the street telling me that he was going to fire me if this continued. i DONT WANT IT TO CONTINUE i need to find a new job that i can do. i was in and out of a terrible mood all day and went to try and have dinner with ben. we didnt wind up going as all the asian restaurants were closed between lunch and dinner. so i came home and fucked around on the computer and didnt get any beer like i wanted to . oh well these things happen. i thik i am going out with danny and laura tomorrow. that oughtta be cool. :) ps. jen if your reading i got an ftp help! edited (Comment on this)
Tuesday, February 24th, 2004
5:21 pm	you are such a cunt. you are such a cunt... ask a girl out when your standing right next to me. that'll teach me for loving you. anyways, apparently, someone wants me to get into some trouble, so i quit gambling. even though i won 300.00 today and i do it all with my own money. oh well it was nice while it lasted. keri. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, February 18th, 2004
8:19 pm	Kamakaze Keri: you going to deriks thing? TwitchJ2003: yep TwitchJ2003: actually my friend mad is playing TwitchJ2003: im recording him for a dvd Kamakaze Keri: i cant get there cause my ride is going w/noelle. TwitchJ2003: oh well TwitchJ2003: sucks to be you TwitchJ2003: just go with them Kamakaze Keri: naw i made other plans TwitchJ2003: sure ya did Kamakaze Keri: going to somones house TwitchJ2003: right TwitchJ2003: ok im out Kamakaze Keri: later what the fuck i cant have a plan? godamn im boring (Comment on this)
8:05 pm	So you were right well are you happy now? You smug,sarcastic, piece of shit. Id rather have some faith in human kind, than jaded people ruin it. and then the street lights came on, and you never came back no, you never came back again. You prooved me wrong , I never want to see your scumbag ass again. He never should have tried to make you live, when you killed yourself in front of him. What made you the shitbag you are now? what could you possibly be thinking. We all tried to help you, You ripped off all your friends and ran away. You sure got us good do, You want to be remembered this way? Were you just waiting in theyre living rooms, Till you could take theyre shit and run? Your like a canned up frozen invertabre, who sucked the life from everyone. Well, youve left a trail of broken hearts who only tried to help. Refused to belive that the deadbeat waas the card that they'd been dealt. well are you sorry now- that you've used up all- your friends? Current Music: fox 25 news (Comment on this)
Monday, February 16th, 2004
11:02 pm	weekend was uneventful after saturday. i feel jipped of one of my days off though worked all day came home and wasted yet another ENTIRE afternoon on the internet. sang bon jovi to my roomate who eventulay went into a diabetic attack. and now im going to bed gnite. Current Music: fox 25 news (Comment on this)
Sunday, February 15th, 2004
3:07 pm	the thing about birds, they die. friends , they fight valentines day sucks, and you are usually caught somewhere right in the middle of all that. Current Mood: blah Current Music: The Cure - Prayers For Rain (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, February 11th, 2004
8:01 pm	also did i mention i talked to two boys i have sex with and neither of them made me feel better no matter how cute they were? did i mention that my boss SCREAMED at me did i mention that i am very upset right now? did you ever feel like you were faking life and any minute you were going to be found out? (Comment on this)
Tuesday, February 10th, 2004
6:30 pm	so i worked really hard at not drinking and not eating the EMERGENCY atkins bars i have in my freezer and shit if i am not back in keytosis..FUCK YEAH! that makes me really fucking happy.. almost happy enough to go out for a purley recreational walk just for exorsise sake.. anyways, have you ever had a friend that you knew was probably gonna hurt someone. and you cant say anything to anyone? mostley because that someone is as good a friend as the first person. oh well.. he'll have to learn on his own when the feds bust down his door. my bird threw up yesterday.. makes me think of prince.. this is what it sounds like when doves yack.. seems to me like my meds are working also.. wich is pretty cool.. i dont think i am going to have sex till i lose twenty pounds.. hows that for initiatave? hopefully by that point the boy who i want to have sex with will stop having an ashtray full of her ciggerettes.. yep. that sucked to see.. (Comment on this)
Thursday, February 5th, 2004
4:15 pm	jealousy i hate that i am jealous of her yesterday i went to the lady doctor, clean again.. thank the gods... however on the way there i lost my fucking wallet and i know the guy took it who was watching me get out of the cab.. my doctor finally got me top stop crying cause i had just cashed my check and my boss loaned me the cash hes a good dude so all day i havent been able to figure that guy out again today, but i have been having massive jealosy problems at work.. im such an idiot sometimes. i dont really even care but deep down, something is hurtinig my pride. there is this realllllly hot guy who has been comming into my work, i will call him the uberhot.. im not sure but i think hes flirting with me. sexiest voice ever,.. godamnit hes either flirting with me or thinks its cute that i want him.. this i will have to find out someday. today i did good with my diet as long as i dont drink tonite, i should be doing very well. (Comment on this)
Monday, February 2nd, 2004
7:41 pm	hey i am back. a lot of shit has happened but i dont think i will recount on any of it unless its important. oh well.. i will write more later, im me at KamakazeKeri later (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, April 28th, 2003
7:37 pm	so the weekend started with alan comming by and he left shortly there after he wanted to stay but he had to be somewhere. soo we partyed without him. amber had gone off to the museim of science with my mother and sister and brother and her boyfriend. so when they got back they for once didnt want anything to do with a party so i threw most of them out. to preserve the quiet. i wound up hanging out with tina laura and shons friends till i was able to get rid of shons friends . i turned around at one point to discover that there was a girl in my house who i hadent seen in like a year. shes my neibor now. before i even said hello i made out with her. we went to her house. i got sick of one of her fiend friends bugging out cos tina was taking too long to get him drugs,.. so i went home and it was daylight. i slep from 8am to 10 am. i woke up hungover as shit. but it was pretty much a good time no matter how bad im making it sound. later i wound up hanging out with picket. and a bunch of people who turned up here. problem was shon had brought his buddy, his girlfriend and her friend over.. amber loses her shit and shon runs out the door with all her money. after a long fight about her money, that girl, and her leaving clothes all over her floor, and not doing anything that amber gave him money for. the boys all chased shon down but he wasnt found. at this point the relationship is labled as over. we got drunk and disregarded it for the rest of the night after ensuring that amber would have a pleasnt evening. we all came to the conclusion that if he didnt return that money that shon would be hurt. physically. SUNDAY MORNING everyone starts collecting because shon has said that he was comming for his stuff.. I ADMIT there were too many people here that wanted to beat his ass and I ADMIT that there were too many people who did kick his ass.. he was hospitalized. no bueno.. it was very quentin tarentino/ kids.. after that everyone split up to make sure that the police werent comming to my house. skippy and i explored the surley old dive bars in salem and preteneded that we were on the run and drank pabst till we were well beyond lit. then we met up with amber justin and nichole at sidelines and ate and returned home where most of the participants had met back up. i jumped in the shower and got dressed. because alan had come back. and wanted mikey and i to go play pool with him. hanging out flirting with alan like ive been doing for the last few years when who comes in the door but picket. so i had to split my attentions, alans time was limited here because his mother was sleeping in the car so picket came back home with me to drink some vodka. i sat on a couch next to him and waited to figure out if we were going to flirt tonite. aparently that was a no. so he left at like two and i went to sleep. and was woken up by an old friend comming in my room waking me up and having sex with me.. hottttttttttt.. next morning i painfully wake up and go to work and am completely bored there. came home and layed down and talked to everyone who was already here. watched mikey look funny bicking his grown in head. and everyone went to a party and i decided to stay here for some alone time or to just wait and see who shows up in my comfort zone. i bought a half a bottle of vodka offa mikey for a pack of smokes i think i may just have some.. i have school tomorrow. fucking yay. oh well.. byebye. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, April 22nd, 2003
9:46 pm	so last nite blondie became imposing.. he didnt reolise i am not big on the aggressive approach. i kicked him out for the night, and i will still be cool with him,. brought back some bad memories though. fuck. anyways i want picket to come back here tonite with mikey apparently stacie and i can be in the same room again wich is cool. he basically promised if i persue him then i still get to touch him.. word. i like it when people openly tell me that i am too intimidating to persue. but they still want it. my baby brother and sister are staying with us tonite. theyre the cutest. anyways. i guess i'll go now. this is the first in a series of me getting back into live journal. i forgot how much i liked this. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, March 4th, 2003
12:14 am	noone ever keeps me and im tired of all the alone.. i dont understand what i do to people there are times when it makes me happy to see other people all the time but its only cause its temporary company. i think i want someone. someone for a while who will just be mine.. im having odd dreams revolving aroound weird things like cakes made out of heads and head hunters and sex with virgin redheads on th third floor and laura and romy and michelle and sugary pop punk songs.. and jay watman comming to steal back a head he never owned in the first place. i feel like death but on the other hand im moving soon and the apt is the bomb i want a buncha beer.. yeah i do. i havent written a lot and i will again , i just rediscovered the lj client (Comment on this)
12:06 am	Kamakazekeri1: hate vomit hate vomit: :) Kamakazekeri1: :-( hate vomit: ? Kamakazekeri1: im soooo full of hate hate vomit: ? hate vomit: why? Kamakazekeri1: *boy who shall remain unnamed* Kamakazekeri1: calls me up Kamakazekeri1: and says im just basically calling to tell you that i dont think that i should sleep at your house anymore Kamakazekeri1: i say ok Kamakazekeri1: he waits for more of a response Kamakazekeri1: it makes me really confused Kamakazekeri1: he says Kamakazekeri1: i say did you think that that would make me upset? Kamakazekeri1: he says no i didnt think you'd give a shit Kamakazekeri1: filler conversation Kamakazekeri1: about how he hasnt been able to sleep Kamakazekeri1: and i let him go Kamakazekeri1: i call him back to say what the fuck was that all about ?!! Kamakazekeri1: and he says what hate vomit: thats fucked up Kamakazekeri1: i tell him that i wouldnt give a shit?!! Kamakazekeri1: i dunno Kamakazekeri1: he says it meant nothing Kamakazekeri1: and its all ok Kamakazekeri1: can i go to bed now he says Kamakazekeri1: i dunno Kamakazekeri1: now im all confused Kamakazekeri1: i hate everything Kamakazekeri1: i wanna die Kamakazekeri1: ambers gonna have sex tonite Kamakazekeri1: dans gonna Kamakazekeri1: im gonna be on a couch having to hear it all hate vomit: dans having sex? Kamakazekeri1: heathers back hate vomit: oh hate vomit: wierd hate vomit: im sorry hate vomit: thats sucks Kamakazekeri1: yeah Kamakazekeri1: its all goo Kamakazekeri1: d Kamakazekeri1: you didnt do it hate vomit: brb real quik yeah so anyways apparently im confusing (Comment on this)
Tuesday, January 28th, 2003
10:30 pm	Twice today, you made me feel incredible. I wanted to tell you that but i think you know that already. Once mentally when you told me what color my eyes are. "Your eyes arent black." You told me as I colored them in on the picture I drew of myself. "What color are they.. then?" I kept my eyes shoved down into the piece of paper i was drawing on. "Theyre like a goldish reddish brown" You told me. I still kept my head down, but not for the dramatic effect that you have come to know from me. I hoped thats what you would think. But really I kept it down so you wouldnt notice that all the blood vessles in my face had all but burst. my face was so red. Because it meant so much to me that you had ever noticed that, and more so that you had remembered. it was too late though, you saw me try to cool off my hot face as i scuttled around the side of the counter through the cracks in it."What?" you grinningly asked me innocently though as though you had no idea why i was blushing and covering my mouth by now." I dont know I was just very impressed that you knew the awenser to that question most people dont notice. " I stammered. still frantically playing with my face. trying to cover up the redness and toothy, geeky grin. "Well its theyre own fault and loss" you informed me "for never having noticed" Once today you made me feel incredible physically. secretly brushing my neck with things you would pull from above my head KNOWING that sends every nerve in my whole body into an uproar. I turned to you rubbing my neck, HARD trying to get the tingles out of it with a confused and startled (again ) blushing face. You blushed too. Simply telling me "Ive always wanted to do that to you. One time today you made me feel safe. while i was helping a couple of spanish speaking customers pick out some gifts to send back to mexico, i listened as the two of them made comments about the size and shape and what they would like to do to my tits and ass. proceeded to call me beutiful in english and in spanish. apon realising that i understood every word, they stopped hiding it. I looked to Big biker Jim Hoping that he would notice the demise of my pride, and come over and rescue me like i think that he would but, like most boys, thought that the look in my face meant .. im busy come talk to me later. and not HELP JIM PLEASE HELP like i really meant. i continued to show them theyre silly gift items, and went to wrap the ones that they had picked so far. you stopped me on my way by after i watched you visually escort me back on the video moniter. and asked me if they were giving me any trouble. " i dunno,." i said,." i ll talk to you about it when they leave." You informed me that you would have dan wait on them from that point on. and kept me behind the counter with you untill they left the building. For a few minutes today you made me feel nervous. you seemed wicked pissed off when you came in today and i didnt wanna bother you. and when i left you standing there you made me feel sad. i didnt wanna go, i wanted to spend my time with you. while i was in class, you made me feel good,. than when this was all over i would be seeing you again tomorrow. even if you are being held captive with me. (2 Comments |Comment on this)